Jury duty.

Ugh.

Why is it that I’m always on juries?

So the tax ‘rebates’ are going out sooner than planned. Qualifying folks whose Social Security numbers end in 00 - 20 should be seeing their stimulus payments in their bank accounts this week.

The IRS said all checks for those who filed tax returns on time are scheduled to be deposited or mailed by July 11. The direct deposits and the paper checks are being processed by the last two digits of a taxpayers’ Social Security number.

For people receiving direct deposits, those with a Social Security number ending in 00 to 20 will have their economic stimulus payment deposited to their bank account by May 2.

Those with Social Security numbers ending in 21 to 75 will get their direct deposits by May 9 and those with Social Security numbers ending in 76 to 99 getting their deposits by May 16.

If you’re not sure if you qualify for the stimulus payments, here’s a handy dandy little calculator that will tell you if you qualify, and how much you’ll be stimulated if you do.

I will not be stimulated today. I will not be stimulated on May 9 or May 16. I will not be stimulated with my green eggs and ham Sam-I-am.

This should upset me. But it doesn’t. I’m used to giving more than half my pie to government only to be told to continue to bend over and grab my ankles so they can take even more.

Okey Dokey it looks like we’re back to normal. Well, normal for around here anyway. My categories are back, my To Do list is still here and my spam is once again being filtered.

I’d like to say a very large, very public THANK YOU to Lisa at E.Webscapes for braving electrocution to get my site up and running. I mean, the woman braved monster thunderstorms to restore my wisdom to the Intrawebs. If that’s not customer service, then I don’t know what is.

I go out of town on the 15th and everything is fine. I come back on the 20th and I can’t log in. Pages are missing, all my categories are hosed, but it looks like the bones are still here.

There may be additional down time while I try to recover my 100 Things list. I didn’t keep a back up and I’m pretty peeved about losing it.

I have GOT to get me one of THESE.

Oh, and the calendar would be nice too.

If you’re like me, seeing the numbers on your 1040 tend to make your blood boil.

My husband and I paid over $35,000 in Federal income taxes for 2007. That’s more than some of my friends make in a year.

We paid $15,000 in Social Security and Medicare taxes through payroll deductions and self employment taxes. A big fat piece of our pie given to someone else, as we’ll never see any of that again. Both programs will be insolvent by the time we retire. Senator Hope and Change would be proud, no?

The state of Arizona took $5,700 in income taxes and the county and other localities hit us up for $3,500 in property taxes. I chose to live in a state with low income and low property taxes. Lucky? No. Good life choices.

Before factoring in sales taxes on the things I buy and gas taxes on every gallon of gas I use…I’ve given government $60,000 this year.

$60,000 and Senator Hope and Change and his lovely bride think I should pay MORE?

How much more?

No, seriously. I’m asking.

How much more of my pie should I give to someone else?  I work over 2400 hours a year for my salary (normal full time is 2080 hours a year), plus extra time outside my W-2 job to help out with our side business.

How much more should I be paying? How much harder should I be working to give my pie away?

I don’t mean to pile on to Rachl Lukis’ butthurt, but Tax Freedom Day is April 23rd.

Somehow…the fact that it’s 3 days earlier this year doesn’t ease the sting of realizing I’m working almost 4 months a year to give my pie away so that others can have some.

If I didn’t have a sense of pride, or a strong work ethic, an insatiable need to succeed or a desire to do more than just get by… I’d quit my job and suckle at the government teat.

But alas, I want to do more with my life than know what was on Dr. Phil today. I better get back to work.

If you haven’t read this yet, do it now!

If it were later than 12:16 p.m. and if I had eaten anything yet today, I would take a double shot of whiskey right now. I might do it anyway because any negative repercussions from that would have to be better than feeling every ounce of pain I’m enduring today.

I am doing my taxes.

And you know what, right this second, I’m NOT proud to be an American. I’m not even proud to be a human being today. I am certainly not enjoying the fact that I share air and a planet with whatever assholes invented and maintain the IRS.

It makes me want to blow shit up. Not people, that would be taking it too far, but definitely shit. Like watermelons and outhouses and maybe even a taco truck.

And it only gets better from there.

Is it possible to have a chick crush in the same way dudes have man crushes? Cause I totally heart Rachl Lukis.

What does it take to get me blogging again? Michelle Obama saying this.

“The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more.”

Well, well, well.

Isn’t it refreshing to have the socialism just laid right out there for us, in all its income redistribution glory? In order for ’someone else’ to have what you have, they’re just going to take it from you and give it to ’someone else’. Socialism in its most basic form, no? I gotta give the woman credit for having the brass ones to put it out there so brazenly.

Well, when that ’someone else’ wants to work as hard as I do and make good life choices and sacrifices I’ve made, they won’t have to take mine. They’d have their own. Until then, Michelle and her love sponge can keep their damn hands off my pie.

Welcome to 2008 y’all. It’s January 2nd, and the day’s pretty much over. That means there’s 364 days left to do something amazing this year. So what’s it going to be?

For me, I don’t entirely know what 2008 holds. Nor do I know what I want out of the year. I’m going to have to noodle on this one. I know I can expect one or two big life changes for sure - but then what? Ah, if I knew I’d be playing Power Ball tonight.