Or as I sometimes call it - the 100 Things To-Do Before I Die List. Cheerful, no? What’s worse - sitting in your rocking chair at 90 thinking “If I’d only …” or making a marginally morbid list of things you’d like to accomplish before you kick the bucket?
That’s what I thought.
So here’s my list. Like me, it’s a work in process and constantly changing. I reserve the right to add, delete or otherwise modify items on the list as I see fit with, or without notice. Things I’ve already done are crossed out.
Oh, and yes I know I don’t have 100 things on there. I’m working on it.
To-Do List
- Bungee jump
- Solo skydive - not the jumps where I’d be attached to some random stranger’s crotch. That used to be fun, but I’m too old for that crap. Jumping attached to some random stranger’s crotch was just fine. First, he was a total babe, and second I still got the same adrenaline rush I would had I not. So I consider this mission accomplished.
- Go to the top of the Washington Monument - I WILL do this in April 2007. Even if I have to cut in line and spoil a field trip or two. I’m pretty good at making little kids cry. Hell, I even make some adults cry once in a while. I never did make it to DC that April. I’ll have to make some time for this.
- Drive a real NASCAR around a real track and get out of second gear - I mean really open that baby up. - May 10, 2008. Phoenix International Raceway. Me and my mom. Yes, there will be wagering involved.
- See a baseball game in every MLB ballpark
- Take my son to Disneyworld. His father did this in January, 2008. I’m going to change this to DisneyLAND. As a west coast girl, I like Disneyland better anyway.
- Hike the Grand Canyon from rim to rim.
- Hike to Havasu Falls
- Run a marathon. Ok run is a very strong word. It’s just not natural for any human being to run 26.2 miles at once. I’d just like to finish before race officials start letting traffic back on the streets.
- Conquer my irrational fear of clowns
- Audition for a professional sports team’s dance team – I better get on this one. I’m not getting any younger. Yeah this isn’t going to happen. Have you seen the size of my ass lately? No way it’s getting into spandex. I’ve made my peace with it.
- Ring in the New Year in Las Vegas
- Ring in a different New Year in Times Square
- Visit New York City and do the tourist thing
- Go to the top of the Statue of Liberty
- See a show on Broadway
- Be one of those dorky people who smile and wave in the windows of a cable news channel while they’re on the air
- Visit Ground Zero and pay my respects
- Visit Shanksville, PA and pay my respects
- Visit the Pentagon and pay my respects
- Go white water rafting down the Colorado River for a week with my crazy family
- Attend a real Hollywood movie premiere. Craig, that’s all you buddy
- Sing the National Anthem at a sporting event. PeeWee football doesn’t count
- Tour Dachau and other notorious concentration camps
- Visit Normandy. I’m well aware that’s France, thank you.
- Spend some time in Germany touring WWII historical sites
- Spend very little time in France touring other WWII historical sites
- Spend a summer on the Mediterranean lounging around like I’m a millionaire
- Actually be a millionaire. I’m not picky, I’m not too proud to win it, inherit it or be gifted it by a Sugar Daddy. Of course I’ll probably have to do it the old fashioned way - earn it.
- Improve my snowboarding ability
- Lean how to snow ski
- Find a sport I’m good at, and play it regularly
- Spend a romantic evening in Paris with the love of my life - if it’s the same guy from #29 above, even better
- Compete in a Triathalon. Again, compete is a very strong word. I’d just like to not drown. Or get eaten by a shark.
- Have dinner at SkyCity, the restaurant on top of the Space Needle
- Go clamming with my older sister and her family
- Parasail along the coast of Mexico
- Visit a nude beach, and not giggle - I said giggle people, not jiggle. Actually not jiggling in all the wrong places would be great too.
- Find a charitable organization whose mission I can enthusiastically and wholeheartedly support and volunteer
- Hold a World Series trophy
- Take a summer and tour Revolutionary War historical sites - West Point, Boston, Charleston etc.
- Learn how to play poker
- Beat someone smart at chess more than once so no one can claim it’s a fluke
- Finish a crossword puzzle in pen without looking at the solution or erasing
- Find a fully restored 1965 Ford Cobra and make that baby mine
- Attend Memorial Day services at Arlington National Cemetery and thank every service man and woman I see
- Grand Marshall a parade
- Find the one thing that makes me special and sets me apart from everyone else.
- Figure out what my purpose on earth is A close friend reminded me why I’m here - to live. He reminded me life is short, it can end in an instant. Live like you mean it - you only get one chance, there are no do-overs. He’s no longer with us, but he reminds me of this every day.
- Visit Rome and do the tourist thing
- Meet the President at his (or her) request
- Spend an afternoon with a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient and ask all the questions I’ve wanted to ask for ages
- Decide once and for all on whether or not to attend law school and persue a career as a lawyer. Law school isn’t for me. I have new/different career goals that won’t make me the butt of every lawyer joke on the planet.
- Attend a taping of Whose Line Is It Anyway? Man I love that show.
- Get 15 minutes of fame out of being a contestant on some pathetic reality show
- Stand on a corner in Winslow, Arizona just to say that I did. If you haven’t realized I’m a total dork yet, what took you so long?
- Cliff dive in Jamaica
- Get my Class C motorcycle drivers license and head to Sturgis with my parents. Yes, my parents ride Harley’s.
- Write the great American novel. Ok, maybe not THE great American novel, I’d be happy just to finish one of the many I’ve started.
- Keep a journal. I started one today. Nothing like a new year to kick start those goals, huh? I’ve been writing off and on in it since the beginning of the year. I’m going to go out on a limb and say I’ve accomplished this one. I reserve the right to change my mind at a later date.
- Learn what people mean when they say “Forgive and Forget”. I am not very good at either one of these, and there’s one particular relationship in my life where this skill would be helpful. This took some serious soul searching, but it’s done. I’ve also realized there are some things where this is impossible.That’s just the way I am I guess.
- Attend a Presidential Inauguration
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Attend an Army/Navy football game - root for Army of course.
- Attend an Army/Navy football game - root for Navy of course.
- Visit West Point and listen to a lecture by the West Point historian who appeared on The Revolution on The History Channel. I can’t remember the guy’s name to save my life (I’m terrible with names), but I’d recognize him in an instant. He’s brilliant. His name is Major John Hall and he’s the resident Military Historian at West Point. After watching the series again, I think he’s even more brilliant than I originally thought.
- Own an original Rosie The Riveter WWII poster
- Learn how to armpit fart
- Floor it on the Autobahn. I already treat Pecos Road as my personal Autobahn, might as well check out the real thing. Hey, it’s not my fault city planners design these roads to look just like runways. And besides, The Lord gave me 277 horsies for a reason.
- Spend the night in one of those treehouse hotels
- Take a canopy/zip line tour of the rainforest in Costa Rica
- Visit New Zealand and Australia without The Family, otherwise I’ll be looking for The Wiggles and Mr. Frodo. Not my idea of a good time.
- Pretend I’m Kelly McGillis and make my own Top Gun movie at one of those places where you can ride in a jet. I will refrain from making the cheesy comment about needing someone to be my Maverick but since we’re on the subject, if there are any volunteers….Oh, and I think I’m going to need a Kenny Loggins song for the soundtrack.
- At the risk of sounding like someone who belongs in a compound in Idaho, spend the weekend prentinding to be a Green Beret.
- Attend a taping of The Jerry Springer Show. I’d prefer to be in the audience, but if I wind up as a guest, I’m going all out - white tank top, black bra, super tight cut off shorts so my muffin top and cottage cheese thighs hang out all over the place. I mean hey, when in Rome…
- Take a dog sledding trip in Alaska
- Teach my son how to fish
- Get a tattoo
- Take a summer and travel the Underground Railroad bicycle route
- Milk a cow. A real cow, on a real dairy farm. I want to drive a tractor too, while I’m at it.
- Pierce something other than my ears
- Shave my head just to see what I’d look like bald
- Read Dante’s The Devine Comedy in it’s original language - Italian. I think I’ve pretty much spent time in all of the first seven circrles of Hell. I’m not sure what circle I’m hanging out in these days - third? fourth?
- Watch oral arguments in front of SCOTUS. I don’t care what the case is, but the tax geek in me hopes it’s some influential piece of tax law.
- Learn how to fly a plane, and get my pilot’s license.
- Be cool enough to be made into a bobblehead doll.
- Learn how to make a believable pig noise. Mission accomplished. The Boy and I have been practicing our animal sounds and I think I have this down pat. I have the whole barnyard down actually. Not sure if I should be proud of that.
- Attend the Burning Man Festival in Nevada.