What this election cycle was missing was a good old fashioned sex scandal. And now, we have one. And not just any sex scandal, a gay sex scandal involving a Republican and an underage boy. Awesome! My motto is - if you’re going to do something, do it big. Rep. Mark Foley didn’t let me down.

Rep. Mark Foley, R-Fla., resigned from Congress on Friday, effective immediately, in the wake of questions about e-mails he wrote a former male page.

“I am deeply sorry and I apologize for letting down my family and the people of Florida I have had the privilege to represent,” he said in a statement issued by his office.

You sir, are an idiot.

First of all - you’re a member of Congress. Did you think no one would find out? Uh, hello? You’re a Republican. If Democrats even think you have sex (we’re not allowed to have sex you know, we’re all so uptight about it), let alone gay sex with an underage boy, they’re going to sick the dogs on you. You were caught on the prowl for it - hand in the cookie jar baby. You didn’t see this coming? You clearly don’t know your adversaries. Just a little warning - they’re not done with you yet.

Secondly - having your spokesman claim someone’s trying to smear you just reeks of amateur status. If this attraction was something that took place 30 years ago, releasing the correspondence would be a smear tactic. Disclosing objectionable and potentially illegal activity that took place currently is not. You did this, put your big boy undies on and man up to it.

Playing the “smear campaign of the worst kind” card only makes you look guiltier. If that’s the best response you’ve got for this, you’re in trouble. If I were you, I’d tell your PR people to start thinking of another way to spin this. I suggest you go the McGreevy route. Worked for him, will work for you. Might even get a book deal out of this whole thing.

And finally - if you’re going to use modern technology for a little dirty talk, and really I can’t blame you - I mean, who among us hasn’t, at least know how to cover your tracks. Technology is a glorious thing when it comes to adult activites, but it can also come back and bite you in the ass. As you’re now finding out.

Thank you for at least resigning your office, I’ll give you credit for that. I’d also like to say thanks for doing something so stupid, you’ve given people a reason to run around talking about Republican’s sex lives. You’ve given the lefty moonbats a reason to shout to the heavens that all Republicans are sexually repressed perverts who hide behind a mantra preaching family values. Yay, I’m so looking forward to debating that.

**UPDATE**

Had the opportunity to read some of the chat/email transcripts over breakfast this morning (don’t recommend that btw) - and Congressman Foley I have one final suggestion for you. Turn yourself in. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to your nearest police station and turn yourself in. Don’t try to spin it, don’t try to do anything else except apologize, throw yourself at the mercy of the court and take your punishment like a man.

The Phoenix metro area added another MLB team to its spring training line up - The Cleveland Indians.

Goodyear leaders donned red and blue baseball caps Wednesday afternoon before calling Cleveland Indians President Paul Dolan to make it official: The southwest Valley city is ready to play ball with the Indians.

The City Council unanimously approved a contract with the Major League Baseball team to move its spring-training home from Winter Haven, Fla., to Goodyear.

By my count, that makes 10 teams training in the Phoenix area:

Angels
Royals
Brewers
A’s
Mariners
Rangers
Cubs
Padres
Giants
Indians

Hmm…I’m wondering if I should rent out my spare bedrooms to baseball fanatics during spring training.

The UK, the country responsible for the Crap Tax, is now considering taxing environmentally unfriendly homes.

Speaking to reporters last week, Housing Minister Yvette Cooper said that beginning in June, all houses for sale in Britain will be required to have certificates revealing how “energy efficient” they are.

Cooper said 16 towns and cities throughout England are now taking part in a trial program where property taxes are reduced are on “greener homes.” Talks are now underway to extend the practice further.

I’ve never been to the UK, but I do have the BBC America channel and my neighbor is from London, so of course I consider myself somewhat of an expert here. Many of the buildings across the pond were built centuries ago. The only polution civil engineers were concerned with in the 18th century came from horses. It’s going to be rather expensive to update some of these buildings.

“People like the idea of doing good for the environment,” Humphrey said. “People like the idea of living in a green and pleasant land.”

However, he also said he suspected that support would drop if the taxes become reality and hit people in their bank accounts.

“It’s hypothetical support,” he said. “That might change when these taxes actually appear.”

Well, yeah. We supported a tax on tea until King George and Parliament actually imposed one.

Most of us in western countries agree that torture, as a normal operating policy of any government, is wrong.

Why? On what basis is torture wrong? Is it simply because a group of men got together and made a law banning it? Does something in the judeo-christian religions tell society that torture is unacceptable? How did civilized society come to the decision that only savages torture?

Paul Campos, a law professor at the Univerist of Colorado, Boulder says this:

Torture is wrong. It is always wrong, at all times, in all places, no matter what good one imagines might come from torturing a fellow human being.

It is wrong because to torture a fellow human being destroys the torturer’s own soul as surely as it destroys the body and mind of his victim.

Here is a basic truth, understood by all religions and peoples who have not yet sunk into total barbarism: Mortality is only possible if there are certain things we must refuse to do under any circumstances. You do not “balance” the costs and benefits of torturing your fellow men, because it does not profit a man to gain the world if he loses his soul.

In this age or moral relativism, why should we accept this absolute position? Why is there no grey area, or nuances if you will, when it comes to torturing a terrorist? Campos makes no exception for the ticking bomb theory in his statement. Is it fair to say one’s soul would be destroyed if one could have prevented a terrorist attack by applying more agressive interrigation techniques?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating torture here. I’m just trying to understand why it’s wrong. Because it’s bad doesn’t seem like much of an answer.

I’m going to tell you a secret, and you have to promise me you won’t tell my husband. Promise?

I like baseball. I’m not one of those people who can tell you everyone on a team’s roster or what the stats on the back of a baseball card mean or what the slugging percentage is for, I just enjoy watching the games. Can’t think of many better ways to spend a Sunday afternoon than at the ballpark. I’m sure this is going to give my son gender identity issues when Momma’s the one taking him to games.

This is a cool story about what happened to the baseball from Luis Gonzalez’s World Series winning hit back in 2001.

I’m a huge fan of Jerry Colangelo, and I can’t think of anyone more deserving of the series winning ball.

EDIT TO ADD: Thanks to an old friend, I know how the slugging percentage works now. Thanks Craig.

There’s no one to pick up the slack when you don’t know what to talk about. I don’t even feel like posting bunnies.

Blah.

…or does the thought of flu shots in grocery stores turn your stomach too? It’s where I go to get food and people are getting viruses, bacteria and who knows what other chemicals injected into their bodies in the same place. Might as well just eat in the bathroom.

Ick.

The bad thing about being on the road yesterday was being away from my computer. My poor husband was subject to my ranting and raving about Bill Clinton’s now infamous appearance on Fox News Sunday. Poor guy was a captive audience for four hours. At least you people choose to listen to what I have to say.

Two things struck me listening to the interview. First - if Bill Clinton was as obsessed with getting Bin Laden as he says he was, trying so hard to get the guy that he gave orders to the CIA/FBI to take him out like he said he did in Sunday, and the CIA/FBI refused or failed in executing the order, wouldn’t someone be fired? Like say, George Tenet? Clinton doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy that would tolerate incompetence or insubordination. Yes, I know there’s a joke in there, but I’m trying to be serious.

Looking at it from the real world perspective, you know, what you and I deal with everyday… If my boss was hot on something and wanted it done right away, and I failed or completely ignored his request, I’d be fired on the spot. I don’t recall any intelligence official being asked to resign or leaving for unexplained reasons during Clinton’s administration. Tenet didn’t resign until well into Bushie’s first term. About two and a half years late, if you ask me.

While I think Clinton’s anger was genuine, plenty of members of the VRC have proven everything he said on Sunday was total crap. And we all remember what happened the last time he wagged his finger. If he’s going to go on the evil Fox and spew his horse puckey, you’d think he’d at least make it somewhat plauseable.

Secondly, Clinton’s repitition of “I tried, and failed” over and over is really a sumation of all liberal policies. The intent is genuine and good, but the implication and end results are total failures and it’s always someone else’s fault.

I wasn’t offered a job as a showgirl, nor did I find myself swimming with the fishies. The drive back just took a little longer than I’d planned. And turning on the laptop was the last thing I wanted to do when I got home.

Not going to go into much detail on the weekend, you know what they say - but a good time was had by all.

Now it’s time to plan my 40th - any suggestions?

I hate to blog and run, but I’m off to Vegas to celebrate 30 years of Farrah with some close friends and family. I think I might even knock #1 off my To-Do list.

I plan to partake in at least three of the seven deadly sins, so needless to say blogging will light. Unless drunk posting strikes my fancy - then who knows what will end up here? Regularly scheduled blogging will continue on Monday.

Will someone keep an eye on the trailer while I’m gone? Thanks.