As my first Life Lesson post, I’m starting with a whopper of a lesson for my daughter.

Yes, I know I have a son. But I’m only 30-something and I want to have two or three more children. I’m hoping one day I will have a little girl to mold into a Mini-Me. I’m pretty awesome, and there should be more women like me. What better way than to give birth to one? Granted there are no prospects for reproduction at the moment, but there’s still time. I’m an optimist. And hey if all else fails, I have a turkey baster.

One of the most important lessons I will teach my Mini-Me is this:

Just because a man (or woman, I don’t judge) has sex with you, it doesn’t mean he (or she) love and respects you.

This probably seems like a no-brainer in the age of the “Hook Up”. But just because I see relative strangers hooking up on The Real World, not all teenagers are like that. I know there are still parents out there  teaching their kids “sex is an expression of the deep love two people have for each other” as an explanation of what sex is. That’s what my parents taught me - it went hand-in-hand with explaining that good girls don’t have sex until they’re married. Not realistic these days, but more of an ideal I want my daughter to strive for.

Growing up I always thought if I was going to have sex with someone, it would be with someone with whom I was in love. I mistakenly thought everyone else thought that way too. I thought when a man slept with me, it meant he loved me. I was very, very wrong.

I’m not going into details of how I learned how wrong I was. Suffice it to say it was excruciatingly painful, and I want Mini-Me to be spared having her heart obliterated. Yet once I was able to look back at the situation, I realized the lesson I learned was empowering. I saved myself from failed relationship after failed relationship, thinking that because I’m doin’ it with a guy, he’s as in love with me as I am with him.

I watch my friends in relationships with guys who hurt them over and over again (twin sis I’m looking at you) and just can’t let go because they’re convinced the guy loves them as much as they love him. His actions clearly say otherwise but he makes love with them, he must love them. These women haven’t learned this lesson, and frankly I think they never will. When the time comes, I will tell my daughter everything - who, when, how happy I was in my ignorance, how very badly it hurt when I realized what a fool I was, and how it nearly destroyed my life.

Hopefully she will learn from my mistake. But if she truly is a Mini-Me and as stubborn as I was/still am, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces and help her understand what happened and why.

I’m adding a new category for posts in Farrahzona. As Supreme Ruler of the land, I can.

I need a place where I can write down all the lessons I want to teach my child(ren). Life lessons I learned the hard way that I want to spare my son (and maybe a daughter?) the pain of having to live the same mistakes I did.

As Supreme Ruler, I declare from this day forward all posts so titled will be categorized in the new category simply titled Life Lessons.

I’m in the throes of busy season here in Farrahzona. The spring busy season for me isn’t as bad as my fall busy season. Generally all my compliance projects are extended, so August and September I rarely see daylight. Which is great, because the weather is lovely this time of year, and awful during my fall busy season. But I digress.

In honor of this very special season, I’m passing along Smart Money Magazine’s Top 10 Things The IRS Won’t Tell You.

1. Like it or not, you may need help with your taxes
2. You don’t have to be rich to get audited
3. Fear is often our best weapon
4. The AMT is our ATM
5. Just because we billed you doesn’t mean you owe us money
6. If you don’t pay, we’ll sic a collection agency on you
7. Want to go green? We’ll help pay
8. April 15 isn’t necessarily a hard deadline
9. We may be a government agency, but that doesn’t mean your data’s safe
10. We may still have your refund

I deal with #5 pretty much on a weekly basis. Last week it was straightening out an extension payment the IRS said they never received (that’s very bad - no extension payment means extension is invalid and the return is late and that means large penalties and interest assessed).

It was a million dollar payment they said they never received, even after we twice provided them with copies of the canceled, cashed check.  After two rounds of correspondence and three phone calls, someone with two brain cells to rub together finally updated our account and removed the penalties and interest. It was an easy resolution, but a hassle.

If someone who’s ever dealt with the IRS is a supporter of government funded/run universal health care….I’m convinced that person is truly an idiot.

I hope some of the tips are useful. Happy Tax Season!

(via the TaxProf Blog )

Well, the Coolest Blog Ever that is not Raising Farrahzona. I’m talking about the official blog of TOTUS.

I dare you to read it and NOT shoot liquids out your nose while you laugh.

Time Magizne is reporting Turbo Tax Tim’s department (who is part of the Obama administration, you remember), knew about the AIG payments back in February, not last week as claimed.

Someone’s tellin’ a fib.

Why is everyone so angry about these AIG bonuses? The standard answer I’ve heard is that it’s rewarding failure.

So then…why are we bailing out deadbeats who can’t or refuse to pay their mortgage? Isnt’ that failure?

Ladies and gentlemen I must apologize for the use of profanity in that post last night. It wasn’t very lady like, and I apoligize.

However….in my defense, sometimes the F-word is the only appropriate word that accurately expresses the feelings of the moment. No?

Either I’m a fucking moron, or the people in his cabinet are. Otherwise, the administration wouldn’t be expecting me to believe The One and and those who work for Him weren’t aware of the AIG bonuses until this month.

It wasn’t until Thursday, March 5, 2009, administration sources told ABC News, that officials of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York informed officials of the Treasury Department of the full extent of the $165 million in bonuses pending for the controversial Financial Products Subsidiary.

I’m confused, help me out with this.

The Federal Reserve Bank of New York essentially took over AIG in September of 2008 - they installed their own CEO, went into receivership, the whole nine yards. The Federal Reserve Bank of New York had generous access to sensitive company documents like compensation and employment contracts (ignoring any SEC filings and congressional testimony for a moment). The takeover of AIG was kind of a big deal, right? HUGE  fund transfers to AIG, so you’d think the head of the NY Fed would want to be kept apprised of any significant issues related to AIG. Right? RIGHT?

The President of the NY Fed in September of 2008, while this was going on, was Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner. You know, part of Obama’s administration. What kind of Federal Reserve Bank was Geithner running if he was unaware of these bonuses? Was he too busy trying to clear up his Turbo Tax issue these payments just sat on his desk covered in TPS report for months?

Jake Tapper points out in the article above that by the time the NY Fed started reviewing AIG’s retention program, Geithner was already under consideration for Treasury and he recused himself from the AIG case. Fine, but just because you recuse yourself doesn’t mean some great power sucks all the knowledge you have of the issue out of your brain, never to be accessed again. A nominee has to keep up with current issues in their jurisdiction. SCOTUS nominees are asked their professional legal opinions on issues facing the court, sometimes even on cases they may be adjudicating. Treasury Secretary nominees are no different.

Turbo Tax Tim was nominated on November 24, 2008. On December 10, 2008, just a measly 16 days after Turbo Tax Tim was nominated to head the Treasury, Bush administration officials testified before the House about AIG’s retention program.

On Wednesday, lawmakers grilled Assistant Treasury Secretary Neel Kashkari about AIG’s bonus plan. Rep. Donald Manzullo, R-Ill., asked if a $3 million bonus was too much.

“It is excessive for a failing institution, yes,” said Kashkari.

But so far, no one’s stopping AIG from paying millions to some employees in its new retention program. The company has told 168 employees they’ll receive between $92,500 and $4 million per individual if they stay with the company for one year. That angers some on Capitol Hill.

“These so-called retention payments are nothing less than bonuses,” Rep. Elijah E. Cummings, D-Md., told CBS News. He sent letters to AIG, demanding details of the retention program.

Did Geithner neglect to read the testimony of the rocket-scientist-turned Assistant Treasury Secretary? I don’t know what’s worse - if he neglected to read it because he figured Neel Kashkari was nothing more than a Bush hack (professional malpractice to say the least)….or if he did read it and is now lying to cover his ass?

So let’s see….if I were to give The One the benefit of the doubt and accept His contention that no one in His administration knew the AIG retention bonuses were coming down the pipe, I’d have to believe the following:

- No one in The Office Of The President Elect paid attention to the business conducted in Congress between the election and the inauguration.

- The nominee for Treasury Secretary used a Harry Potteresque Pensieve to store all his memories and knowledge of what was going on with AIG and forgot to spill it out in that little bowl to revisit the memories until recently.

- The staff of the NY Fed keeps its leaders in the dark about controversial issues.

- The Obama administration doesn’t know what the SEC does, or what information is available in a financial statement.

- While there was a vague knowledge of some retention payment plan in place at AIG, no one running Congress, TARP, the NY Fed or Treasury knew the specifics. If they knew the specifics, I’d have to believe these folks just assumed no one at AIG would want to retain staff in the Financial Products Division. I’d have to further believe that anyone who knew of these retention programs assumed AIG would honor some contracts, but not others.

I can keep going, but you get the point.

Te believe the complete bullshit statement that no one in the Obama administration knew anything of these retention payments until March, 2009, I’d have to believe everyone running the country right now are unprofessional, incompetant and utterly, totally, completely clueless.

Well wait a minute, maybe I’m not a fucking moron after all.

From a faux outrage story on the AIG bonuses:

“This is ridiculous,” exclaimed Sen. Jon Tester, D-Mont. He said AIG executives “need to understand that the only reason they even have a job is because of the taxpayers.”

LOLOLOL!!!1111

I’d bet MY next non-taxpayer subsidized bonus that Senator Tester doesn’t understand that statement applies to him.

And let’s not allow this snorffle worthy comment go unnoticed.

“If they have any common sense at all … they ought to give it back,” House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Md., said Tuesday. “Have they no shame? Have they no sense of responsibility to the taxpayers of America?”

Ummmm…..the AIG bonuses totaled $165 Million. Only $165,000,000.

How much did Congress just promise to shell out under the banner of “stimulus” for Frisbee parks in Austin, TX and the like? $787 Billion. That’s $787,000,000,000.

Yeah, spending 0.02% of what Congress just did is outrageous! That’s zero-point-zero-two percent spent by AIG..and I should be outraged at that, but not at Congress for spending 98.08% more on dog parks and tit-mouse protections? Why won’t I think of the taxpayers! LOL!!!1111

Oh goodness this is funny stuff. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.

I have more on the good stuff in the article, but I have to go back to work and earn my non-taxpayer subsidized salary now so that I can pay for OctoMom’s food stamps.

It’s been a crazy week here in Farrahzona. I have a rather large work-related deadline on March 16, so my life has revolved around that for the past week.

Today’s challenge will be easy. Leave the car in the garage or parking lot and go for a walk or ride your bike. I realize this may be difficult for those of you not living in the desert. That’s why it’s a challenge.

I’m going to ride my bike to the market and pick up some fresh strawberries. I love strawberry season.